Lindsey is one of our new LEAP volunteers, where people with an experience of homelessness, mental health, addiction or other issues provide help and support to people accessing the Good Shepherd, this is her story, in her own words:
In 2022 I was running a pub in Cumbria and going through an abusive relationship. During that time, I grew close to a friend from the pub that I confided in. My relationship eventually ended after an assault and he was arrested. A few months later, me and the friend who I confided in started a relationship.
Initially it was amazing, and he gave me and my daughter everything we hadn’t really had before, she hadn’t really had a dad, and he gave us a beautiful home. He persuaded me to stop running pubs and have more of a family life, which I thought was great, but I quickly realised it was about control.
He started being even more controlling, but I put up with it because my daughter seemed settled and happy. She started taking sides, which looking back he was manipulating her as well. Despite the abuse, I stayed with him not realising the damage it was doing.
Then we received an anonymous phone call about my boyfriend which led to involvement from Children’s Services, due to a past incident with his daughter. While he wasn’t physically violent with us, the situation eventually resulted in my daughter being taken away from me, because of him.
We agreed that we were going to try and fight to get my daughter back together. She was really upset and didn’t want to leave that home. But then he wouldn’t do any of the assessments and he was sabotaging getting her back. He was drinking heavily, which then resulted in me drinking heavily as a coping mechanism, and I tried to take my life about five times.
It had become worse and worse and it came to a point where I was due to go to court for my daughter but there was just no chance of getting her back if I’d have stayed there, there’s no way she would have ever been able to come home.
I decided to put myself in a crisis house in Cumbria, which was a massive help. But yet again, he did the love bombing, he did the manipulating, then he told me he was going to change, and I ended up going back to him.
We both did toxicology tests to try and get my daughter back. He insisted he’d never used drugs, and mine came back negative. But when his results came back it showed he had been using cocaine.
And I just thought, I don’t know this guy at all. He was either trying to sabotage my daughter coming home or this was who he was the whole time. I’m literally going to end up dead or not getting my daughter back. I just thought I need to get out and that’s exactly what I did.
I just had to make a decision at that point in time. Something just came over me, and I rang my friend and said, I need to come home. And he said right what time is your train? And he sent me the money for me to get back home to Wolverhampton. I snuck out of the house and got on the train with a bag for life of clothes. He called me and asked me where I was and told me to come home but I just blocked him, and that was on 9th November last year.
I came back and I stopped at few different friend’s houses for a couple of months. I rang the Council for support with housing, but I just didn’t seem to be getting anywhere. And then on 10th February I think it was, I got the call to go into supported housing.
At that time everything was available at the supported housing, and an order was put in place to ensure it would remain long-term until everything was resolved, and I could demonstrate that the situation was settled and completely separate from the relationship with my ex-boyfriend.
It wasn’t until I got to supported housing that I felt like I had the tools to get my daughter back, because it was fully supported for women and families. They put me forward to the Women’s Empowerment Groups that were amazing at Recovery Near You, and I started doing all the assessments.
By March/April I was ready to fight to get my daughter home and because I had the support with my housing, it was a lot more positive this time. They knew that there was support there for my daughter too when she came home.
Around May, we were all called in and told that the supported housing had run out of funding. At that point, I was living independently but still receiving support. They announced they would no longer maintain the independent accommodation, which left 12 of us homeless and vulnerable. That’s when they got in touch with Good Shepherd and Shaz a Keyworker at the Good Shepherd, came along.
Shaz sat with me and took on the case immediately. She began searching for housing urgently, as we only had four weeks’ notice to vacate the building and the situation was quite desperate.
Within a month, she arranged family accommodation, registered me here at Good Shepherd, and enrolled me on to the LEAP course. If it wasn’t for Good Shepherd, I don’t know where I would be right now, but now I’m doing my training and volunteering at the Central Community Shop. I’ve got a stable home, and my daughter has been temporarily back over the last few months, spending half the week here and half in foster care, with each week her stays getting gradually longer for a smoother transition. On the 11th of December my daughter came home permanently, it feels really surreal but she’s finally home.
Looking back 12 months ago, I would never see myself here now, and I wouldn’t be here without the support. It’s just amazing.
Shaz, Keyworker at the Good Shepherd said:
“As soon as I met Lindsey, I could see she a was smart determined lady. We managed to secure a tenancy with a new landlord. Good Shepherd supported with the deposit and rent in advance through the Winter Pressure Fund, and I applied for DHP and supported with updating universal credit. The accommodation is superb and within a few days Lindsey had made it into a home for her and her daughter. Lindsey was also referred to the LEAP project as we knew with her lived experience she could inspire others, show empathy and kindness.
“Lindsey has shown incredible strength and determination in moving from refuge to permanent accommodation, proving that with courage and support, new beginnings are possible. Her journey reflects resilience and hope; she has taken a huge step toward building a safe and stable future for her and her daughter.”
Without the support I’ve received for my housing, there’s no way I’d afford to stay where we live. It’s local to the school, local to the Good Shepherd. So, there’s no travel expenses or anything. But like I say, without that help financially, we wouldn’t be in a property that we’re in now, it’s great.
If I just sat there feeling sorry for myself, then maybe I would have gone back. But I’m here now because of the support I’ve had and the push forward to keep going and talking about it just helps.
Now I want to help others in my situation. This is where I want to be and what I want to do.